Page 94, of 160 of my edit. If I had long enough hair I’m sure I would be pulling it out by now. Why do we torture ourselves like this? Because we love it. My thoughts have been on memoirs lately. My dad said something to me the other day that has been sticking around in my brain like that one song that never goes away. When we were joking about him crying at T.V. shows and calling him soft, he replied it wasn’t that he was soft. It was in fact because the older he gets, the more precious life becomes. The tears are a result of coming to terms that everything in life has an end.
It is a very sad, and profound thing to think about. More to the point, it got me thinking about what we leave behind once we are gone. Our legacy? Maybe some money? Memories. But what am I personally leaving behind? In my own life, I’m not the man I think I should have been. I will never be the best husband, or the world’s greatest dad. I will never boast that I serve others for the joy of it. I can’t even say I’m a nice guy. I write none of this for attention or looking for rebuttal. I am old enough and been around enough to have a pretty good grasp on the type of person I am. So, what then, will I leave?
I am going to try to start sharing a memory, at least once a month. Couple reasons. It gives me more opportunity to write. It also gives me something tangible that I can pass on to my daughter. Will she want them? Who knows? I hope to write for a year and have enough at that time to put into a book in the form of short stories. Hopefully I will be able to be entertaining enough that she will want to read them. Because no matter how I get, or my daughter gets, I will always remember her asking me to tell her a story. Bedtime stories where there were times I would read the same book to her 3 times in one sitting. Other times when she would read to me, although she had yet to learn. Memories like these are something to be cherished. So I guess I could say this is a new year’s resolution. Something I’ve never done before because I find the idea of making false promises to one’s self to be asinine. But, sometimes we just have to try something new. What will your new year’s resolutions be?